On the Horns of a Dilemma
Music by Chris O'Shea and Brenda Sutton
Lyrics by Brenda Sutton
© 1986

I got into some hot water over the lyrics of this song.  I wrote Mama's Hands for my mother and my daughters, and recorded it on my first tape, Strangers No More, along with On the Horns of a Dilemma.  I gifted a copy of the tape to my daughters, and they played it all the time.

During custody battles for my five children, my ex-husband submitted the confiscated tape as evidence against me, citing that the lyrics of On the Horns of a Dilemma were inappropriate for young children.  The judge listened to the tape on his lunch hour and agreed with my ex, lecturing me to be more careful about the music I allowed my children to hear.  He then complimented me on Mama's Hands, and ruled in my favor.  Now there's Nanny Nanny Boo Boo for you!

Sparking hooves, down the path we fly,
Surging power between my thighs,
Rapiered horn  that would ne'er harm me.
Phantasmal equine of purity.

Chorus:
Dearest companion, faithful friend,
We'll share a bond until time's end.

Ardent mortal desires me,
Promises passion eternally,
Steals my breath with his strong embrace,
Deftly pursues me in love's swift chase.

Chorus

Break:
I in the middle now am torn.
Human delight or unicorn? Unicorn...

I surrender my maidenhead
Taking the lover into my bed.
Passion spent, he is then transformed
Into my love of the golden horn.

Chorus