Dear Abby BVS
Music by John Prine, Lyrics by Bill and Brenda Sutton
© July 2002

I am a devoté of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the process of turning my husband to the light.  We've been going through Season One and Two on DVD to catch him up to speed because its hard doing backfill during the last season finale.  One sounds like such a doofus explaining the series of events that lead to emotional dysfunction of this loveable band of Scoobies.  Does no one in this series get to have a happy, stable relationship????  Guess not.

G C G/GAD/GCG/GDG
CDG

Dear Abby BVS
Music by John Prine, lyrics by Bill and Brenda Sutton

Dear Abby, dear Abby, my boyfriend's a vamp,
We only make love in the dark and the damp.
I'm losing my tan with this angel of doom -
How can I find sun and get out of this tomb?
Signed - Buffy

Chorus:
Dear Buffy, dear Buffy, you have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't.
So listen up, Buffy, and listen up good -
Stop dreamin' up bad luck and stakes made of wood.

Dear Abby, dear Abby, they think I'm a slob,
My sweetheart's a demon, I can't find a job,
The girl I first loved doesn't want me around -
She only likes men who have been underground.
Signed - Xander.

Chorus (replace Buffy with Xander, etc.)

Dear Abby, dear Abby, I'm stuck in the stacks,
My glasses get foggy when Buffy attacks.
I was a good watcher when she was a teen...
But now I can't watch (if you know what I mean.)
Signed - Giles

Chorus

Dear Abby, dear Abby, my girlfriend is dead.
He tried to kill Buffy but got her instead.
I called the Apocalypse, it came today -
Why won't my best friend just get out of my way?
Signed - Willow

Chorus

Dear Abby, dear Abby, I'm stuck in a rut.
My plots are all rewrites that don't make the cut.
My characters' lives make their fans want to scream -
Thank goodness the groupies think vampires are keen.
Signed - Joss Whedon

Joss Whedon, Joss Whedon, you have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't.
So listen up, Whedon, and listen up good -
Stop dreamin' up bad luck and stakes made of wood.
Signed - Your Writers.